BLUE TUESDAY ......

There was a lawyer who was just waking up from  anaesthesia  after surgery, and his lovely wife was sitting by his bed side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You are beautiful" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had not heard him say that in a long time so she stayed by his side. A couple of minutes later his eyes fluttered open again and he said  "You are cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of  "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful"? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!".

Life is full of surprises - I feel like I am on a long non-ending journey.At one point I thought I had 'arrived' but I'm still going. I do not want to be afraid of going slowly, but I think am afraid of standing still. I have always followed my heart and taken my brain with me, and prayed and trusted that it's gonna be ok.

I am having some down moment. My emotions are all over today. I am reminded of when I was growing up in Africa and as a young teenager I struggled with self image. My friends went on to wear short skirts and high heels while I was stuck in polio boots and long skirts to cover my legs. I was a keen reader and I discovered some trashy English romantic novels. I enjoyed reading about how the hero and heroine fell in love with each other. I liked the way they always lived happily ever after, but I often wondered if I would ever find that kind of perfect love because of my far from perfect body.

In fact when I read about the beautiful characters, I couldn't help wondering how someone would write about me. How could the flowery language be adapted to describe my callipers and crutches then in Africa and now as a wheelchair user living in the UK - I think it would take a literary genius to make my body sound appealing in a romantic book. I thought I had overgrown my past but some things come and shake us so hard that we feel like we are going backwards instead of moving forward. 

I am here in beautiful Switzerland training and competing in the most amazing atmosphere but I am struggling emotionally. I am only human and it's perfectly ok to feel this weak. I always look for something positive in each day but to be honest today I am having to look a bit harder.

I love the simple story of Cinderella, she meets her prince, gets married, has babies, and who knows - may be she went back to cleaning and cooking all day and may be the prince never took her to another ball,or may be she had servants and went to every ball. Life is a mystery, and I know our best stories will come from our struggles so I am not giving up at all!!!!!

SWISS ROLLER COASTER

It is so nice to be back in Switzerland once again. It's a country I really love to visit, and meeting all of my friends from International wheelchair racing makes it so much better. Mind you, the weather has been atrocious, rain and strong winds, which made a bit of a washout of our first race meeting over the weekend. But that is elite sport - you plan and train but you can never plan for the weather!  Everything about Switzerland will be one of the things I will really miss when I retire, though I do want to take up a coaching role so perhaps I can continue coming with my athletes.

The news from home (UK) has been truly shocking and disturbing and my heart goes out to the family, friends and colleagues of the murdered soldier, Lee Rigby. My prayers are with them all. What possesses a man to take another man's life in such a cruel manner ???  And in the name of RELIGION ??? If we have no PEACE it's because we have forgotten that  WE belong together.  LOVE should be our most unifying and empowering common spiritual denominator as demonstrated  by the women who sat besides Lee Rigby so he would not die on his own. I believe humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,the ocean does not become dirty- Let us be courageous and we must not lose faith in humanity.

I miss my son so much  and  I long for evenings when I can speak to him on Skype. He is my pride and joy and being a mum to such a lovely ,gorgeous, strong, clever, sensitive and caring boy has taught me so much about life.I am in gratitude every second of my life and so many times in the middle of my little mess, I am constantly reminded of how big I'm blessed !

I think I needed this time away to reflect on several things about myself. I am surely learning to listen and to be patient. I  miss my friend who is  in the UK  and I wish I could speak with him

all the time but all I can do at the moment is have them in my heart and pray for them. Life is too short,  therefore if you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Over The Moon!

Just got back from Switzerland and the season is winding down towards winter training. It was good to meet friends from the wheelie world once more. The more I go to Switzerland the more I fall in love with it, one of these days when those 6 numbers come up!.......
Nottwil is the place to be as a racer. It has perfect cycle tracks with no broken glass and its great scenery as we push around the lake. Great accomodation. I remember it was 5 years ago that I met the Brazilian soccer team here and I recall the crowd was going wild and screaming. I was chatting to one of the players and the crowd was really cheering. Later I asked why were the crowd making so much fuss. I was surprised when I was told I was chatting to the most famous player in the world, Ronaldhino. To be honest I didn't have a clue who he was because I never used to follow football though I do now.
It was a one day international competition on a brand new track and it was good to be there to test it. After all the sweat and hard work I've put in the reward of a Personal Best in the 200m was a sign that there is more in the tank to come. I also did a very good time in the 100m but I know I have to put in some really hard work this coming winter on improving in all areas but especially my 400m and 800m, the two events I still need to master.
I am a very emotional person but when I do well I sometimes don't have the right way of expressing it and I quickly move on to the next chapter.
My passion, my love, runs slow but deep like a dark, dark river!

Swiss Roll.

Phew!! A hectic few weeks now culminates in my final competition of the season here in Switzerland. I was at Crystal Palace last weekend but wasn't that pleased with my performance on a slow track. However, as always it was good to meet up with other racers.
I've been training hard and had some very good track sessions and some tiring workouts on the road. I'm feeling really positive about myself and feel in good shape to do well this weekend.
The journey here was very tiring, especially having to get up at 5am to get to Heathrow, but I'm now comfortable in my hotel room after having a nice dinner. I love coming to Switzerland because they really take their wheelchair racing seriously here, and they can't do enough to help the athletes who travel here. They really make us feel welcome.
Whilst I was at Heathrow a lady came up to me and told me I was her hero. She has had breast cancer and she said she'd seen the programme I did for BBC, 'My Story', and said how much it had inspired her. Imagine! I told her she was the real hero, my hero, for battling a dreadful disease and beating it. She really inspired me!
So, I'm going to train hard tomorrow and then go out on Saturday and really do my best to get some good times. Then it's back to dear old England to spend the winter training hard to prepare myself fully to try and earn a place at London 2012.

Catch Up.

Well, I have been so busy over the past month or so since my last entry that I haven't had the time to get near a computer so here is a brief account of what I've been up to.

First and foremost has been training training training with both my wheelchair coach, Ken Day, and in the gym with John Campbell. I don't know what I would do without these two great men but I owe them both a lot for their help and support. They have made me sweat and groan with pain but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I competed in Knowsley last month but the weather was not good and I wasn't totally happy with my performances but at least it was good to be back in proper competition after a long winter lay off. However, I did enjoy visiting Liverpool, a beautiful city, especially the Roman Catholic Cathedral, which is spectacular and very serene. It was also great to spend time with Pete Wyman and his family who kept me well fed and entertained. Thank you.

Off the track I have done a couple of days work on the 'Eastenders' set as an extra and am beginning to feel a real part of the family there. It's good fun even if we do only appear on screen for half a second! I even did a scene outside the 'Queen Vic' with a glass of orange! I've also visited a few schools to promote sport and healthy living and really enjoyed interacting with the youngsters I met. Finally I was honoured to be asked to open a charity shop for the St Elizabeth charity in Harlow. These events really make me feel humble but also very proud to be asked.

This last weekend I was at Stoke Mandeville for the BWAA International event and was much happier with my performances, especially getting a gold in the 400m, and doing 31.68 in the 200m, just outside my personal best. I just hope I can improve again in Switzerland this week, which will form the basis of my next blog. watch this space.

Swiss Roll.

Hello and welcome to my new blog. I am a Paralympian who competes in wheelchair racing, sprinting to be exact about it, and in this blog you can read about how I am progressing in my chosen sport.
It's been a difficult year for me because I missed out on qualifying for Beijing due to a torn muscle in my shoulder. I was very disappointed not to take part because even with my injury I just missed out on getting a qualifying time in the 100m. I managed a personal best time of 17.38 and the qualifying time was 17.25 secs! Still, I got over it and started training again properly this year.
I've just returned from Switzerland where I took part in two competitions. In Ibach I managed 17.73 secs in the 100m, just outside my PB, and I was delighted with that result but, as I said, the weather was wet and windy and my 200m and 400m were just ordinary.
In Jona, a really fast track, all of the Brits were looking forward to fast times but the weather was horrendous, so bad people were turning blue with the cold! There was nowhere to get a hot drink and it was generally depressing. Still, I did my races, albeit in times that were poor so it was a bit of a disappointing end to the trip. Anyway,the weather was bad for everyone so no complaints.
Now I'm getting ready for Crystal Palace in July so it's train, train, and more training.