International Women's Day - Double Discrimination.

In, ‘ The Myth of Women's Inferiority' Daniel Gaido states, "One of the conspicuous features of capitalism, and of class society in general, is the inequality of the sexes. Men are the masters in economic, cultural, political and intellectual life, while women play a subordinate and even submissive role. Only in recent years have women come out of the kitchens and nurseries to challenge men’s monopoly. But the essential inequality still remains".

Today as women celebrated international women's day, most differently abled (disabled) women are battling a serious double dose of discrimination, 'female with a disability' this continues to 'justify' a low education level that  results in rates of employment and low wages, increase in sexual and physical violence, limited access to fighting for justice and to health services and facilities.

Every single woman has a role to play in society, and I am tempted to say that some women's roles are greater with a higher calling - As a differently abled (disabled) woman, this comes with complications, criticism, belittling and so often being thought to deserve 'not the best' in life. The majority of us are still battling double discrimination - two minority identities 'female with a disability'

Yes, I may be a 'female with a disability' but I make it happen in life. I have dreams, aspirations, etcetera. I know first hand what it means to live at the corner of disability and womanhood. I know what it feels like to suffer discrimination and encounter barriers in life. Yet so many women like myself are rising up with resilience, strength, and enormous potential to make it happen in life.

 

We often speak of having dreams, they say to be successful one must have a dream ... I believe in making the dream a reality - turn that dream to reality, make it happen.

As a woman who is differently abled (physically challenged) I have learned to set realistic goals.

STEPS;

1. Identify - once you identify your dream, let your mind crave it, believe in your dream, start to visualise the end goal and have belief that you can achieve it. It was difficult for me to identify but once I knew my life's purpose - I am now able to set goals related to my dreams. It is important to set goals. I am able to discover what I specifically want to create in my life that serves to bring me joy while serving others in some capacity.

2. Find ways to make it happen - you may need a time frame for certain dreams, dreaming alone is not enough, how do you go about achieving it? ..I am never afraid to ask for assistance . E.g BPF .. Create awareness of polio and PPS....

3. Put methods/ into practice - it may get tricky but persistence is key... It's like setting out on a journey .. to get to your destination, you have to take a step to start moving. Stay stagnant it gets you nowhere.

When 'Ms. Doubt' sets in, I call on my 'miss affirmation' that helps me get rid of self-doubt that mostly would set me back or cause me to give up on the dream. Positive Affirmations help me not to lose focus on the vision 'we become what we think' so think positive.

4. As you focus and start to achieve and as it 'starts to happen', don’t be carried away .. Pride comes before a fall. Avoid methods/means that will compromise your character. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Don't exchange success with your integrity. A good name is better than riches and you can still achieve your dream, you can make it happen without engaging means that would hurt others at the expense of your dreams. Do things for all the right reasons and not the wrong ones. Keep a humble spirit and always to be grateful.

 

 To make it happen in life, you need to be true to yourself, be ready to take responsibility to change your life for the better. Commit, sacrifice, and discipline yourself to making a positive change in your life.

I have realised that for me to be a useful friend, mother, sister, athlete, manager, ambassador, etc, I need to Invest in myself through personal and formal education and I do not take this lightly because it's my life!

Myself and other women with disabilities world wide, including my friend Hannah Wanja from Kenya are asking themselves these questions;

Are women homogenous? Are women with disabilities victims of circumstances or are they agents of social, economic and political change? Do we have women with disabilities on the tables of decision making or are they on the menu?

Are challenges facing women with disabilities cross cutting across the globe but are there solutions to some of these pertinent challenges facing women with disabilities?

 

Tough Mudder Challenge.

In my last blog I told you I was planning to take on the 'Tough Mudder Challenge'. I am so proud of myself because I completed the course with my brilliant team mates from AbleChildAfrica, and I have the aching muscles, bruises, t- shirt and headband to prove it! It was, without a doubt, the toughest challenge I have ever faced but ......I DID IT!!!! All the hard training in the Harlow Leisurezone gym with my personal trainer Mark Macciochi paid off and his encouragement and positivity really helped me. In fact, everyone in the gym was very supportive and I was raring to go.

A few days before I met with some members of the AbleChildAfrica team to plan our strategy and to work out how we would tackle the many different obstacles during the challenge. It was just like a military operation. If I was daunted before the meeting I was even more daunted after it, and I was worried about my ability to get through it all in a wheelchair.

We travelled to Wales in a mini bus provided  by another charity, The Barbara Bus Fund, and though long, our journey was made easier by the witty jokes of Anthony and the good company of my fellow travellers. We arrived at the camp site the team were staying at in tents. Unfortunately my disability and tents don't mix so I was picked up by a fantastic taxi driver, Trevor,from CTE Crickhowell taxis, run by Ann and Gareth. He refused to take my fare because he said 'I challenged him by doing 'the mud thing',as he called it.. What a lovely man! We arrived at the Soar Chapel Guest House in Beaufort, Ebbw Vale. What a luxurious place, family run by lovely people who made me feel so welcome. I highly recommend it if you're ever in Wales.

In the morning Trevor picked me up again and drove me to the site. He wished me good luck and I told him I would need it! I found everyone signing waiver documents and I finally realised there was no turning back. This was it and I was feeling very anxious because of fear of the unknown. What is Tough Mudder? It's not a marathon, it's not a race but it's a challenge, an unbelievably tough challenge. Deep down I knew I had the strength but I was off to tackle obstacles that were not even accessible to 'able bodied' people let alone a woman with almost zero trunk function  or use of her legs in a wheelchair.

We did a team warm up and headed to the start line, but before we even got there we had to climb over a small wall. The first obstacle was 'Kiss of Mud' where we had to crawl through mud with barbed wire just above our heads. I kissed a LOT of mud!

The next obstacle,'Glory Blades' involved climbing two walls that are inclined towards you. This is where the teamwork really began for me. Teamwork is the ability to work as a group towards a common vision, even if that vision becomes extremely blurry. My vision got blurrier after each obstacle, but the teamwork shone through everything.

'Arctic Enema' - whoever invented this one is a true sadist! You immerse your whole body in a trough of ice floating on top of freezing muddy water. As we approached this obstacle I was told I couldn't do it because there was no ramp. I reasoned with him and finally won through and completed it successfully with the help of my team. He obviously didn't realise we had the great  Olympic Gold medal winning swimmer, Mark Foster, in our team!

'Trench Warfare' was next and it makes you feel you are on a battlefield, and in a way, you are, except you can't see anything because it's completely dark. Chris, who was in front of me in the tunnel talked to me and gave words of encouragement, as well as encouraging himself , which again is part of teamwork. I took a lot of strain on my elbows as I slowly dragged my way forward. It made me realise my lack of trunk function can be a real hindrance in events like this one.

'Mud Mile', was it really just a mile because it seemed to go on forever! We went up and down muddy hills, me in my wheelchair that was thick with mud as my team helped to pull me along with ropes and I tried to steer so I didn't lose control of the chair. I remember going up a particularly steep hill with part of the team pulling whilst the other part pushed and struggled to keep the wheelchair upright. It was TOUGH! But we did it! As we struggled, Mike Wickens caught his ankle on the front of the wheelchair. We bound his ankle with duct tape until we reached the next medical help and the poor man had to have a few stitches when he returned home. Sorry Mike. Another member of our team, Jonathan Charles, pulled a leg muscle half way through but the two of them bravely soldiered on and finished the challenge. Somewhere along the way we also lost a piece of my front wheel, but it didn't hurt. Lewis French, an engineer at British Airways, patched up a repair using people's gloves. Amazing! What kept us all going was the water stations and the half a banana we were given.Heaven! As if we hadn't gone through enough with the mud and ice and water, the designers of the course devised 'Hero Carry'. This is where you have to carry a team mate a set distance. Our team really worked well here, with members pulling me with ropes as they also carried someone, whilst others pushed me from the back whilst also carrying someone, and I had someone on my lap as I also tried to push and steer my wheelchair. The power of team work really shone through here and I am so proud of myself and my team mates.

All along the way every person who was taking part were extremely supportive of each other, helping each other to overcome the obstacles. I remember going down a really steep and muddy hill and people from other teams joined our team to get me down, and back up the other side. It was truly inspiring to see so many people working together.

'Everest' - 15ft tall, 35ft wide, and almost vertical, and sometimes lubricated with water and vegetable oil to make getting up it even harder. Speed is vital to give you the impetus to ascend the obstacle. So how did I do it when I have no use of my legs so can't run?? After me everyone; TEAMWORK!
'Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success'. My team formed a human ladder then I had to work myself upwards using their bodies for support, and my own upper body strength to climb higher and higher. Halfway up  I almost gave up but the realisation that we were so close to the finish line spurred me on, as well as thinking about why we were doing the challenge. The crowd around us, the other 'Mudders' were roaring us on and yelling words of encouragement, and ladies and gentlemen, they got me up Everest. We went through the 'Electroshock Therapy' and we were finally crossing the Finish line. I want to give my personal thanks to all my Team mates by naming them - The best team ever;

Chris James.
Jane Anthony.
Mike Wickens.
Lewis French.
Ed Barney.
Nick McKenzie.
Becky Lawson.
Steve Booker.
Mike Anthony.
Aoife Twomey.
Jonathan Charles.
Mark Foster.

And a HUGE thank you to all the 'Mudders' who helped along the way.

People ask me why did I choose to do such a crazy thing? Growing up with a disability in Africa wasn't easy, and it still isn't easy for the people who live with a disability in the developing countries of the world. We are raising funds, and awareness, for AbleChildAfrica to continue their projects that supports disabled children to access their rights and give them the best possible chance of fulfilling their potential. You can make a donation to AbleChildAfrica by texting "MUDD13" £5 to 70070, and you can find out more at; www.ablechildafrica.org 

http://www.itv.com/news/london/topic/tough-mudder/

You can also donate online by going to;https://mydonate.bt.com/events/acatoughmudder

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. Don't listen to 'you can't', show them 'you can'!!!!

Rising to the Challenge!

It ain't what they call me, it's what I choose to answer to!

It's already September, My son is back at school,  and the summer is going out with a whimper. Where has the time gone? I haven't had much of a racing season because of injury but now I'm back, feeling mentally strong. I have a lot of work to do to get back into shape and I feel very unfit at this moment in time. Watch this space though because I am determined to bounce back in style next season, stronger, fitter, and raring to chase fresh challenges.

Life is a roller coaster, and some people choose to ride it and some would choose not to. All I can tell you is whatever the ride you can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel. Let's say I wouldn't be doing some 'challenges' if I didn't understand what people with disabilities in Africa have to endure on a daily basis! I have been there, I have lived it and experienced the stigma and prejudices one has to face when you are a minority, when you are 'different', and when the society you live in labels you disabled and therefore useless. These people know they are being treated unfairly but they just have to carry on living and in most cases being denied the most basic human rights. As a woman who is differently able, I know it's not what these people have been through in their lives that defines who they are, it is purely how they get through it that will make them the people they are today and tomorrow. And yes, beautiful, strong and compassionate people do not just happen - they have to suffer first.

AbleChildAfrica is a relatively small charity yet it  does  so much in changing lives. Their sole purpose is to provide help, support, and encouragement to the differently abled young people of Africa and their families, and to promote the realisation of equal rights for them all. 

I discovered that when you know your value you stop selling yourself short, you stand tall and are never ashamed of who you are... and when those around you want to focus on disabilities, you remove the 'dis' and use all your abilities to rise above limitations and break boundaries... Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to attempt to complete the 'Tough Mudder' challenge 

www.itv.com/news/london/story/2013-08-28/fresh-challenge-for-paralympian/

  an extreme assault course that includes ice, fire and underground tunnels, to name but a few. Not to 'boast', but  I will be tackling the challenge in my wheelchair, and I fully intend to finish it, no matter how long it takes.. Yes! I know it's tough but not as tough compared to the challenges differently able people in Africa have to face everyday of their lives. PLEASE support me in this challenge to raise much needed funds for AbleChildAfrica and help support giving a new lease of life to people who deserve it. Just click on the link below.

www.ablechildafrica.org/what-you-can-do/tough-mudder/

or text 'MUDD13' followed by the amount you wish to donate (£1,2,3,,5,10) to 70070

To end on a different note. Last summer I donated a racing wheelchair to the DR Congo so  Dedeline could compete in the Paralympics. That very same chair is now helping a young man to hopefully compete in the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow next year. That is how a small donation can help to change lives. I will be watching next year and cheering him on.

BLUE TUESDAY ......

There was a lawyer who was just waking up from  anaesthesia  after surgery, and his lovely wife was sitting by his bed side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You are beautiful" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had not heard him say that in a long time so she stayed by his side. A couple of minutes later his eyes fluttered open again and he said  "You are cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of  "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful"? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!".

Life is full of surprises - I feel like I am on a long non-ending journey.At one point I thought I had 'arrived' but I'm still going. I do not want to be afraid of going slowly, but I think am afraid of standing still. I have always followed my heart and taken my brain with me, and prayed and trusted that it's gonna be ok.

I am having some down moment. My emotions are all over today. I am reminded of when I was growing up in Africa and as a young teenager I struggled with self image. My friends went on to wear short skirts and high heels while I was stuck in polio boots and long skirts to cover my legs. I was a keen reader and I discovered some trashy English romantic novels. I enjoyed reading about how the hero and heroine fell in love with each other. I liked the way they always lived happily ever after, but I often wondered if I would ever find that kind of perfect love because of my far from perfect body.

In fact when I read about the beautiful characters, I couldn't help wondering how someone would write about me. How could the flowery language be adapted to describe my callipers and crutches then in Africa and now as a wheelchair user living in the UK - I think it would take a literary genius to make my body sound appealing in a romantic book. I thought I had overgrown my past but some things come and shake us so hard that we feel like we are going backwards instead of moving forward. 

I am here in beautiful Switzerland training and competing in the most amazing atmosphere but I am struggling emotionally. I am only human and it's perfectly ok to feel this weak. I always look for something positive in each day but to be honest today I am having to look a bit harder.

I love the simple story of Cinderella, she meets her prince, gets married, has babies, and who knows - may be she went back to cleaning and cooking all day and may be the prince never took her to another ball,or may be she had servants and went to every ball. Life is a mystery, and I know our best stories will come from our struggles so I am not giving up at all!!!!!

Journey to Yorkshire -RIBI 88th Annual Conference

Last Saturday I took part in my first track event of the season down at Kingston Athletics Stadium. I managed wins in the 100m and 200m, and a second place in the 400m and I was pleased with my performance. It was also the launch of the WeirArcher Academy, a new initiative by David Weir and his coach Jenny Archer that aims to change young peoples lives through sport, something I can fully relate to considering how much sport has improved my own life.

I had a busy week training and managed to do a few long road sessions as well as a couple of sessions in the gym and I'm starting to feel like a proper athlete again after a long winter break. Even after not racing in the  London 2012, I still  love and enjoy the sport too much to give up, and as long as I have the strength and energy to compete I will keep going though may be on a different level.

On Thursday I got up early to make the journey up to Yorkshire where I had been invited to speak at the 88th Rotary International in Great Britain and Ireland held in Harrogate. ( www.ribi.org ) I was to speak at the RIBI Foundation lunch. The journey was fine and I was met at York station by two Rotarians, Peter Knowles and Roger Percival, two lovely chatty blokes who gave me a whistle stop tour of York, pointing out places of interest that included the magnificent York Minster and the ancient castle. It is a truly beautiful city, steeped in history and I only wished I had more time to have a proper look around. I was told that at the Jorvik Centre you can smell the Vikings and feel the war!

We drove through the beautiful Yorkshire countryside as we made our way to Harrogate, a town I was informed was famous for its many wells that were said to have curative powers that could heal the sick. We arrived at the well named Majestic Hotel, which amongst its many claims to fame boasts the biggest gents toilets in Europe! I said goodbye to Roger and Peter and thanked them for their kindness and company.

Debbie and Mike Hodge (my hosts) helped me to check into the hotel, then I went to my room to freshen up, agreeing to meet them for dinner in the evening. 

We had a lovely dinner in the hotel and were joined by  Jannine and Paul Birtwistle from Guernsey, a wonderful couple responsible for the 'End Polio Now' teddy bears. We all had a lovely time, chatting about all the excellent work done by Rotarians around the world. I really enjoyed myself.

After breakfast with Debbie and Mike they took me across to Harrogate International Centre for registration, then we headed to the House of Friendship where there were many stalls that showcased the many projects that the Rotarians support, such as Aquabox, a charity that provides safe water for those in desperate need, the ABC Project that works in Uganda providing medical care and treatment to HIV mothers in the rural areas so their babies don't get infected, the Children's Air Ambulance that helps save and change young lives in the UK, Mercy Ships UK which changes lives in Africa by performing eye operations. One organisation that particularly caught my eye was The Wheelchair Foundation UK, a charity that gives hope, mobility and freedom to millions around the world who need a wheelchair. "Yesterday I was a maggot on the ground. Today I am a butterfly". This is called empowerment and is what I received when I got my first wheelchair. I felt very humbled as I went around the stalls and it became evident that one doesn't need to be a millionaire to support others. I have learned to give, not because I have too much but because I have known the feeling of NOT having.

It was time for lunch and I was given the great honour of sitting on the same table as David Buchanan, John Minhinick (RIBI President 2012 - 13), and Rotary International President Sakuji Tanaka, whose theme for this year is,'Peace through service'. I had gotten a 'End Polio Now' teddy which needed a name. John Minhinick suggested  'Sakuji'.I shall be taking 'Sakuji' on all my future talks and my hope is that by the time he is 3 polio will have been eradicated from the world!

I was called up onto the stage to speak. As usual I was really nervous but once I started talking the nerves disappeared.  I looked out at the gathered Rotarians and they filled me with joy and optimism to see so many committed people who are ready to serve others.  In the morning as I was dressing I had intended wearing a beautiful pair of high heeled shoes, blue, to match my dress, but as I wheeled across the room one fell off and I knew it was a recipe for disaster so I just wore my tatty old suede shoes that I would normally wear with jeans. When I was a young woman growing up this would have mortified me because I was so embarrassed of showing my thin polio legs and  always wanted to look good and fit in. Being  older and wiser I now  know disability doesn't come with a manual and you just get on with life and be happy. To be honest, it does not matter if the glass is half empty or half full ... I have learned to be grateful I have a glass and there is something in it. 

I had a few hours to mingle with the Rotarians before Roger and Peter drove me back to York where I got my train back into London.

Christmas Special!!!

It's finally here and you can feel children's excitement in the air..... I really hope we all remember the true meaning of Christmas before it became commercialised. A friend complained that Santa only works one day a year - I wish his job contract included Africa. When I was growing up we were lucky if we got some new clothes on Christmas morning to wear to church. However, I do enjoy seeing people go the extra mile to make the ones they love feel special. I am really looking forward to spending Christmas with my son - it's always magical when he wakes up on Christmas morning and races to the front room. His eyes go straight to the presents wrapped under the tree - I am a blessed and happy mum when I see that smile on his face, and I share in his joy as he rips the paper off his presents.

The tradition here in England is that you have turkey for lunch but this year we have pardoned the turkey and I shall be cooking duck instead. My son, Tim, really wanted goose but we couldn't find one anywhere, not even in Marks and Spencer, so he asked for duck! I really hope it will be fine but whatever happens nothing can spoil the joy of seeing his face in the morning. Roll on Christmas!!!