International Women's Day - Double Discrimination.

In, ‘ The Myth of Women's Inferiority' Daniel Gaido states, "One of the conspicuous features of capitalism, and of class society in general, is the inequality of the sexes. Men are the masters in economic, cultural, political and intellectual life, while women play a subordinate and even submissive role. Only in recent years have women come out of the kitchens and nurseries to challenge men’s monopoly. But the essential inequality still remains".

Today as women celebrated international women's day, most differently abled (disabled) women are battling a serious double dose of discrimination, 'female with a disability' this continues to 'justify' a low education level that  results in rates of employment and low wages, increase in sexual and physical violence, limited access to fighting for justice and to health services and facilities.

Every single woman has a role to play in society, and I am tempted to say that some women's roles are greater with a higher calling - As a differently abled (disabled) woman, this comes with complications, criticism, belittling and so often being thought to deserve 'not the best' in life. The majority of us are still battling double discrimination - two minority identities 'female with a disability'

Yes, I may be a 'female with a disability' but I make it happen in life. I have dreams, aspirations, etcetera. I know first hand what it means to live at the corner of disability and womanhood. I know what it feels like to suffer discrimination and encounter barriers in life. Yet so many women like myself are rising up with resilience, strength, and enormous potential to make it happen in life.

 

We often speak of having dreams, they say to be successful one must have a dream ... I believe in making the dream a reality - turn that dream to reality, make it happen.

As a woman who is differently abled (physically challenged) I have learned to set realistic goals.

STEPS;

1. Identify - once you identify your dream, let your mind crave it, believe in your dream, start to visualise the end goal and have belief that you can achieve it. It was difficult for me to identify but once I knew my life's purpose - I am now able to set goals related to my dreams. It is important to set goals. I am able to discover what I specifically want to create in my life that serves to bring me joy while serving others in some capacity.

2. Find ways to make it happen - you may need a time frame for certain dreams, dreaming alone is not enough, how do you go about achieving it? ..I am never afraid to ask for assistance . E.g BPF .. Create awareness of polio and PPS....

3. Put methods/ into practice - it may get tricky but persistence is key... It's like setting out on a journey .. to get to your destination, you have to take a step to start moving. Stay stagnant it gets you nowhere.

When 'Ms. Doubt' sets in, I call on my 'miss affirmation' that helps me get rid of self-doubt that mostly would set me back or cause me to give up on the dream. Positive Affirmations help me not to lose focus on the vision 'we become what we think' so think positive.

4. As you focus and start to achieve and as it 'starts to happen', don’t be carried away .. Pride comes before a fall. Avoid methods/means that will compromise your character. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Don't exchange success with your integrity. A good name is better than riches and you can still achieve your dream, you can make it happen without engaging means that would hurt others at the expense of your dreams. Do things for all the right reasons and not the wrong ones. Keep a humble spirit and always to be grateful.

 

 To make it happen in life, you need to be true to yourself, be ready to take responsibility to change your life for the better. Commit, sacrifice, and discipline yourself to making a positive change in your life.

I have realised that for me to be a useful friend, mother, sister, athlete, manager, ambassador, etc, I need to Invest in myself through personal and formal education and I do not take this lightly because it's my life!

Myself and other women with disabilities world wide, including my friend Hannah Wanja from Kenya are asking themselves these questions;

Are women homogenous? Are women with disabilities victims of circumstances or are they agents of social, economic and political change? Do we have women with disabilities on the tables of decision making or are they on the menu?

Are challenges facing women with disabilities cross cutting across the globe but are there solutions to some of these pertinent challenges facing women with disabilities?

 

International Day of Persons with Disabilities.

This day of observance was begun by the United Nations in 1992. It aims to promote an understanding of disability issues and mobilise support for the dignity, rights and well being for persons with disabilities. It also seeks to increase awareness of gains to be derived from the integration of persons with disabilities in every aspect of political, social, economic and cultural life. Very fine aims but what are the realities for the millions of people worldwide? Dismal if you are trying to live with a disability in a developing country where very often you are firmly placed at the very bottom of the society you aim to survive in. And what about here in the UK? Oh yes, we have accessible transport in most big towns and cities, and ramps into the majority of public buildings but we also have the disabled bearing the brunt of vicious cuts imposed by the current government, suffering the unfairness of Bedroom Tax, and others. Think on those things on this International Day of Persons with Disabilities. If you have to judge people living with disabilities, judge them based on what they can do, not on what they cannot. Judge them based on who they are, not who they aren't. Support their strengths and do not use their weakness to crush and destroy them to the bottom.  Otherwise, you are judging them based on your own shortcomings. 

 Africa has had enough of 'disability does not mean inability'. True inclusion of people labelled 'disabled' should involve more than just accessible toilets and ramps. People's attitudes need to change and start to recognise this group of people as full human beings. I totally agree with Emma Thompson that 'being labelled  'disabled' should not mean being disqualified from having access to EVERY aspect of life'. People who are differently abled such as myself have abilities too and this day should be about that, making sure that the society we live in is conducive to allow  these abilities to  blossom.  

No disability or dictionary out there is capable of clearly defining who we are as a person. It is only when we step out of that labelled box that our abilities begin to be fully recognised, giving us a much better definition of who we truly are as individuals. Today, I call upon every human race - Support us to break barriers, and to open doors, for an inclusive society for all. Let us take the dis out of disabled then we are able,take the cap away from handy and we are useful, take the label away and we are who we choose to become and dreams are turned into reality.

Tough Mudder Challenge.

In my last blog I told you I was planning to take on the 'Tough Mudder Challenge'. I am so proud of myself because I completed the course with my brilliant team mates from AbleChildAfrica, and I have the aching muscles, bruises, t- shirt and headband to prove it! It was, without a doubt, the toughest challenge I have ever faced but ......I DID IT!!!! All the hard training in the Harlow Leisurezone gym with my personal trainer Mark Macciochi paid off and his encouragement and positivity really helped me. In fact, everyone in the gym was very supportive and I was raring to go.

A few days before I met with some members of the AbleChildAfrica team to plan our strategy and to work out how we would tackle the many different obstacles during the challenge. It was just like a military operation. If I was daunted before the meeting I was even more daunted after it, and I was worried about my ability to get through it all in a wheelchair.

We travelled to Wales in a mini bus provided  by another charity, The Barbara Bus Fund, and though long, our journey was made easier by the witty jokes of Anthony and the good company of my fellow travellers. We arrived at the camp site the team were staying at in tents. Unfortunately my disability and tents don't mix so I was picked up by a fantastic taxi driver, Trevor,from CTE Crickhowell taxis, run by Ann and Gareth. He refused to take my fare because he said 'I challenged him by doing 'the mud thing',as he called it.. What a lovely man! We arrived at the Soar Chapel Guest House in Beaufort, Ebbw Vale. What a luxurious place, family run by lovely people who made me feel so welcome. I highly recommend it if you're ever in Wales.

In the morning Trevor picked me up again and drove me to the site. He wished me good luck and I told him I would need it! I found everyone signing waiver documents and I finally realised there was no turning back. This was it and I was feeling very anxious because of fear of the unknown. What is Tough Mudder? It's not a marathon, it's not a race but it's a challenge, an unbelievably tough challenge. Deep down I knew I had the strength but I was off to tackle obstacles that were not even accessible to 'able bodied' people let alone a woman with almost zero trunk function  or use of her legs in a wheelchair.

We did a team warm up and headed to the start line, but before we even got there we had to climb over a small wall. The first obstacle was 'Kiss of Mud' where we had to crawl through mud with barbed wire just above our heads. I kissed a LOT of mud!

The next obstacle,'Glory Blades' involved climbing two walls that are inclined towards you. This is where the teamwork really began for me. Teamwork is the ability to work as a group towards a common vision, even if that vision becomes extremely blurry. My vision got blurrier after each obstacle, but the teamwork shone through everything.

'Arctic Enema' - whoever invented this one is a true sadist! You immerse your whole body in a trough of ice floating on top of freezing muddy water. As we approached this obstacle I was told I couldn't do it because there was no ramp. I reasoned with him and finally won through and completed it successfully with the help of my team. He obviously didn't realise we had the great  Olympic Gold medal winning swimmer, Mark Foster, in our team!

'Trench Warfare' was next and it makes you feel you are on a battlefield, and in a way, you are, except you can't see anything because it's completely dark. Chris, who was in front of me in the tunnel talked to me and gave words of encouragement, as well as encouraging himself , which again is part of teamwork. I took a lot of strain on my elbows as I slowly dragged my way forward. It made me realise my lack of trunk function can be a real hindrance in events like this one.

'Mud Mile', was it really just a mile because it seemed to go on forever! We went up and down muddy hills, me in my wheelchair that was thick with mud as my team helped to pull me along with ropes and I tried to steer so I didn't lose control of the chair. I remember going up a particularly steep hill with part of the team pulling whilst the other part pushed and struggled to keep the wheelchair upright. It was TOUGH! But we did it! As we struggled, Mike Wickens caught his ankle on the front of the wheelchair. We bound his ankle with duct tape until we reached the next medical help and the poor man had to have a few stitches when he returned home. Sorry Mike. Another member of our team, Jonathan Charles, pulled a leg muscle half way through but the two of them bravely soldiered on and finished the challenge. Somewhere along the way we also lost a piece of my front wheel, but it didn't hurt. Lewis French, an engineer at British Airways, patched up a repair using people's gloves. Amazing! What kept us all going was the water stations and the half a banana we were given.Heaven! As if we hadn't gone through enough with the mud and ice and water, the designers of the course devised 'Hero Carry'. This is where you have to carry a team mate a set distance. Our team really worked well here, with members pulling me with ropes as they also carried someone, whilst others pushed me from the back whilst also carrying someone, and I had someone on my lap as I also tried to push and steer my wheelchair. The power of team work really shone through here and I am so proud of myself and my team mates.

All along the way every person who was taking part were extremely supportive of each other, helping each other to overcome the obstacles. I remember going down a really steep and muddy hill and people from other teams joined our team to get me down, and back up the other side. It was truly inspiring to see so many people working together.

'Everest' - 15ft tall, 35ft wide, and almost vertical, and sometimes lubricated with water and vegetable oil to make getting up it even harder. Speed is vital to give you the impetus to ascend the obstacle. So how did I do it when I have no use of my legs so can't run?? After me everyone; TEAMWORK!
'Teamwork divides the task and multiplies the success'. My team formed a human ladder then I had to work myself upwards using their bodies for support, and my own upper body strength to climb higher and higher. Halfway up  I almost gave up but the realisation that we were so close to the finish line spurred me on, as well as thinking about why we were doing the challenge. The crowd around us, the other 'Mudders' were roaring us on and yelling words of encouragement, and ladies and gentlemen, they got me up Everest. We went through the 'Electroshock Therapy' and we were finally crossing the Finish line. I want to give my personal thanks to all my Team mates by naming them - The best team ever;

Chris James.
Jane Anthony.
Mike Wickens.
Lewis French.
Ed Barney.
Nick McKenzie.
Becky Lawson.
Steve Booker.
Mike Anthony.
Aoife Twomey.
Jonathan Charles.
Mark Foster.

And a HUGE thank you to all the 'Mudders' who helped along the way.

People ask me why did I choose to do such a crazy thing? Growing up with a disability in Africa wasn't easy, and it still isn't easy for the people who live with a disability in the developing countries of the world. We are raising funds, and awareness, for AbleChildAfrica to continue their projects that supports disabled children to access their rights and give them the best possible chance of fulfilling their potential. You can make a donation to AbleChildAfrica by texting "MUDD13" £5 to 70070, and you can find out more at; www.ablechildafrica.org 

http://www.itv.com/news/london/topic/tough-mudder/

You can also donate online by going to;https://mydonate.bt.com/events/acatoughmudder

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. Don't listen to 'you can't', show them 'you can'!!!!

POLIO in NOVEMBER.

The poet, T.S.Eliot, wrote; 'April is the cruelest month....' For me the cruelest month is NOVEMBER because it was the month that I was struck down by POLIO. Many years ago in a small village in Western Kenya,at two and a half years old, I got very ill. The villagers who did not have any knowledge on disability believed I was cursed and they threatened to kill me. My parents were forced  to flee and that's how we ended up living in Nairobi. It is also where we finally learned that I had POLIO.

Disability does not come with a manual .... One just has to get on with life.Also, it is not the disability that defines you, it is how you deal with the challenges the disability presents you with.I don't see myself as disabled,rather I am DIFFERENTLY ABLE !!! I am so grateful to my parents,my late mama Ruth and my papa George,who is my hero,for always being there for me.My brothers and sisters,and friends in general -Thank you !!!

AbleChild Africa

Training has been going well in spite of me having a cold. I have always been told it's good to sweat a cold out and I felt much better after pushing a very gentle 5k. From the middle of this year I have learnt how to spend my own life in my own way. Sometimes it feels like going back to Nursery school but it's getting better all the time. Remembering what we love is the beginning of a positive change in our lives so I'm prepared to learn anew and hopefully become a better person.

on Tuesday 8th November I was invited to speak at a fundraising dinner in the Inner Temple in London. The banqueting hall was magnificent and full of history. I felt very honoured to be there. The dinner was to raise much needed funds for AbleChild Africa, a charity that is very close to my heart because of the wonderful work they do in Africa. It's hard to believe but ;

1 in 10 children in Africa are living with a disability; this equals a staggering 52 million children!

A staggering 98% of disabled children in Africa do not attend school!

More than 80% of disabled people are living below the poverty line!

I would easily have been amongst those educational statistics if it weren't for the support of my parents, and the Salvation Army who ran the primary school I went to, Joyland. I shall never forget the encouragement and support I got from Major Chamberlain and Major Cotten. The evening was a great success.

Eastlea 'People's Millions' Trike Trail.

I woke up early this morning feeling a bit low in spirit because I hadn't slept well at all...too much on my mind. But whoever said that life was easy? My son came in and gave me a big hug and this brightened me up. I felt even better after some breakfast and a hot bath and I began to focus on my appearance at Eastlea Community School in Newham.

My transport arrived on time and as we drove along the M11 heading towards London I marvelled at the sight of the distant tower blocks of the city glimmering in the morning sunshine. It was nice to leave the dark clouds hovering above Harlow and into the sun.

We arrived at Eastlea and I was amazed to see the transformation that had happened since my last visit four years ago. The school reception area was stunning, with beautiful artwork above the entrance, and a bright, spacious interior, and best of all, totally accessible to people of all abilities. This just made my face light up, and I was humbled by the wonderful welcome I received from the Principal and the staff of the school. They took us through into the school and I when I saw the brand new amphitheatre and heard the excellent steel band playing I felt like dancing, this time not in my dreams!

It was lovely to see young people with disabilities whizzing around the play area on brand new trikes and handbikes having a great time, then my eyes caught sight of a swing especially adapted to take a wheelchair. I just had to have a go, big kid that I am, and I loved it, swinging back and forth for the first time in my life. The press and public were watching me but for a few minutes I was a little girl again lost in my own enjoyment. However, the fun ended too soon and I had to become the honoured guest again to officially open the area.

I noticed a young girl in a wheelchair, Rebecca, and I envied her because this great facility would allow her to play with her friends and enjoy the fresh air. Thankfully she will not be the little girl in the corner who was not allowed to join in like I was. I think that is why I decided to ask Rebecca to join me in unveiling the plaque because to me she is the future. Every morning when I wake up I always look for circumstances that I want, and sometimes when I can't find them I try to make them, and today as I gave my speech and looked at the faces of the young people with disabilities and their parents and teachers I wanted this so much for them. I desperately wanted them to understand that circumstances don't make us, they only reveal who we are and that's why disability should never mean inability.

The event finished with some wonderful food in the students canteen that was made by the students. It was delicious. I had to drag myself away to my transport and back to the dark clouds still hovering above Harlow.

Staff Benda Bilili

Last night I had the great privilege to meet Staff Benda Bilili, a Congolese band from Kinshasa, who were performing at the Union Chapel in London. I met the band backstage and it was great to meet disabled musicians who have overcome polio and homelessness to be on a world stage. I share so much with them, not only being disabled by polio and the effect it has on families but also the realisation of being given the opportunity to achieve your dreams.

Before the gig we saw the film,'Benda Bilili' which charts their rise from the streets of Kinshasa to stardom in Europe. It is a beautiful film full of humour, sadness, inspiration but above all, wonderful music. The packed house gave the film a justly deserved standing ovation. I loved it and would highly recommend it to anyone who is reading this.

I felt very honoured to be asked to say a few words before the band came onstage and despite my nerves I managed to get through my few words before the band arrived to perform.

Watching them on stage was a joyous experience. They performed as a team full of brilliant individuals and the music had everyone present on their feet dancing. I actually did my dancing in my wheelchair, just like them, and had a really great time. I have never seen a vocalist on crutches put so much energy into their singing and dancing, and the effect was electrifying! Watch out for Staff Benda Bilili on their upcoming tour of Europe and be prepared to have a seriously good time. You will also be inspired, amazed and your views about life and disability will be challenged. "STAFF BENDA BILILI!!!!"