BLUE TUESDAY ......

There was a lawyer who was just waking up from  anaesthesia  after surgery, and his lovely wife was sitting by his bed side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You are beautiful" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had not heard him say that in a long time so she stayed by his side. A couple of minutes later his eyes fluttered open again and he said  "You are cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of  "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful"? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!".

Life is full of surprises - I feel like I am on a long non-ending journey.At one point I thought I had 'arrived' but I'm still going. I do not want to be afraid of going slowly, but I think am afraid of standing still. I have always followed my heart and taken my brain with me, and prayed and trusted that it's gonna be ok.

I am having some down moment. My emotions are all over today. I am reminded of when I was growing up in Africa and as a young teenager I struggled with self image. My friends went on to wear short skirts and high heels while I was stuck in polio boots and long skirts to cover my legs. I was a keen reader and I discovered some trashy English romantic novels. I enjoyed reading about how the hero and heroine fell in love with each other. I liked the way they always lived happily ever after, but I often wondered if I would ever find that kind of perfect love because of my far from perfect body.

In fact when I read about the beautiful characters, I couldn't help wondering how someone would write about me. How could the flowery language be adapted to describe my callipers and crutches then in Africa and now as a wheelchair user living in the UK - I think it would take a literary genius to make my body sound appealing in a romantic book. I thought I had overgrown my past but some things come and shake us so hard that we feel like we are going backwards instead of moving forward. 

I am here in beautiful Switzerland training and competing in the most amazing atmosphere but I am struggling emotionally. I am only human and it's perfectly ok to feel this weak. I always look for something positive in each day but to be honest today I am having to look a bit harder.

I love the simple story of Cinderella, she meets her prince, gets married, has babies, and who knows - may be she went back to cleaning and cooking all day and may be the prince never took her to another ball,or may be she had servants and went to every ball. Life is a mystery, and I know our best stories will come from our struggles so I am not giving up at all!!!!!

'End Polio Now' Campaign

Yesterday I was invited to be the main guest at the,'End Polio Now' Campaign organised by Chelmsford Rotary Club. It was a great event and was very well attended, with 500 hundred people there. It was held at the Chelmsford Civic Theatre. Let me give a brief explanation of what the campaign is all about.

It was instigated by Bill and Melinda Gates, and because they are both Rotarians they invited 34,000 Rotary Clubs around the world to raise funds to help to eradicate polio. The campaign has been a hot one and and a great deal of money has been raised to vaccinate children in those countries of the world blighted by this awful disease. Yesterday as I took my place on the stage I felt very humble as a polio survivor who has continued to lead a very meaningful life - surviving polio is great, but even greater is vaccinating children so they don't contract the virus in the first place. I think my short speech went down well.

When I contracted polio as a small child in Kenya the villagers didn't have any idea what it was so calling it 'witchcraft' was the easiest option because that was something they could explain. As I grew up callipers and crutches were the standard solution to the immobility caused by polio so that is what I had to use to get around. 'Walking' in this way , as far as I knew, there was no one whose footsteps I could strive to follow in but I was determined not to let anything stand in my way of living a full and happy life. When I moved to the UK I discarded my callipers and crutches, not without some regret because I have always had a love/hate relationship with them. They have been as much a part of me as my skinny, sexy legs since I was four years old. They have caused me a great deal of pain and discomfort, but I respect them because they have got me to a lot of places and allowed me to do a lot of things that I wouldn't otherwise have been able to do. Using a wheelchair makes my body feel so light without all those steel and leather encumbrances. However, sometimes, when I want to be six feet tall,and sexy,I put on my callipers and polio boots and stand up on my crutches just to remind myself of how life used to be. I know that I will never forget them for as long as I live. When you have a disability, knowing that you are not defined by it is the sweetest feeling! It doesn't matter how the rest of the world looks at me because I KNOW I may never get a seat on the board because I'm in the WRONG chair but I also KNOW I'm intelligent, compassionate, driven, and still very sexy!

'Humour can break down barriers and melt prejudices'.('In My Dreams I Dance' p.78).

To finish on a sad note I was upset to hear of the death of Whitney Houston. Dying on our own is not what most of us would want. What are friends, family and relatives for but hey, who are we to judge others? Growing up in Kenya as a young teenager I used to try and copy her hairstyles. R.I.P.