Tuesday 12 December 2017


The question is should we hold onto anger or forgive and let go..

 When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge, or you can embrace forgiveness and move forward. I do not know how you interpret 'forgiveness' but to me it's the letting go of grudges and bitterness and not attempting the act of revenge in any way and form. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy.

For many of us, the emotions holding the tightest grip on our hearts are disappointment, resentment, blame and anger, infidelity, lies, career sabotage, betrayal even certain life styles that may have caused us trauma, to family or loved ones. They place a stranglehold on our happiness, and the only person who can release them is you.

Life will throw many obstacles onto our life path that will make us sad or disappointed at times. People will hurt you, let you down, collude and plot your downfall, and cause misery. Dealing positively with these obstacles is what makes the difference between them turning into worse states or being overcome. And the art to overcoming is FORGIVENESS. 

How many times have you gone to bed plotting a revenge or woken up in the morning and while dressing, felt the pain that someone caused you and you tell the reflection in the mirror how you are going to teach them a lesson. How no one ever crosses you and gets away unpunished, or how this and how that ... they will know you are not to messed with! Allow me to invent a new name and call this kind of attitude 'big-small ego' syndrome. 

Forgiveness is a choice that sets us free. It might not be a one-time choice and we may need to do it repeatedly but it's worth it! 
Life takes us through different  twists and turns and personally I am constantly persuaded to practice the act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is very important for the development and growth of mankind.  Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace bringing with it plenty of health benefits, including improved relationships, decreased anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, a lowered risk of depression, and stronger immune and heart health. It can also pave way for healthier relationships, spiritual growth and psychological well-being. 
Letting go of negative emotions can often have a remarkable impact on the body.

When I was struck down by polio I was despised by the community in my village who thought my condition was a result of witchcraft. My family was forced to flee our ancestral home after calls for my death for fear that I was a curse, a bad omen and a girl that brought shame to the tribal clan. The more I was told about the inhumane intentions and  acts of the villagers, the more I resented everyone from there and this transformed into a bitter anger that began to eat me up silently as I was growing up.
So many times I wished the whole village would be wiped out or be punished somehow for the terrible way they had treated my family and me just because they saw I was different. Bitterness and anger limited my possibilities, had an effect on me and I felt tied to the oppressors. 

It is natural to want revenge but now I insist forgiveness is the best way forward. By refusing to engage in the channel of conflict that your oppressor is trying to create, you frustrate their efforts and prevent them from achieving their objectives. You may feel disadvantaged but you unchain yourself from bad vibes and free yourself to accomplish to the full measure of your potential. 
Let me tell you a story, you have probably heard a different version before;
A snake penetrated into a carpentry workshop.  As it slipped, it passed over a saw and got slightly wounded. Suddenly, it turned and bit the saw, and biting the saw, the snake seriously got wounded in it's mouth! Then not understanding what was happening and thinking that the saw was attacking "him," it decided to roll around the saw to suffocate it with all its body by squeezing it with all its' strength, but it ended up being killed by the saw!!! 
To me this is a clear demonstration of how holding on to anger can affect us and lead to destruction. I have used an example of the reaction of a snake because when I lost use of my limbs due to effects of polio, the villager called me a snake.
-Sometimes we react in anger to hurt those who have harmed us, but we realise after all that we are hurting ourselves. 
-In life it is better sometimes to ignore situations, ignore people, ignore their behaviors, their words.
-Sometimes it is better not to react so as not to suffer consequences that can sometimes be deadly or harmful.
-Do not let hate take over your life because love is stronger than anything.

Before I pen off, let us pause and ask ourselves whether we have spend days and nights pondering on revenge or FORGIVENESS and WHY ??? 
Choose forgiveness not because you are weak, but don't let anger, resentment and bitterness take root in your life and rob you of your blessings. 
Anger makes you small but forgiveness causes you to grow beyond what you are. 
Forgiveness is the highest and most beautiful  form of love. Forgive those that are causing you hurt and distress, and in return you will receive untold peace and happiness. Forgiveness is a very tough act but let's just do it !! When you forgive, you break the chains that bind you from those that are hurting you and you can freely move on and re- write your stories of success and  blessings. Let us forgive those that have hurt us, not for them but for ourselves and then we get blessed with a life of beautiful adventures. 

Finally, remember forgiveness  is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.
Be wise and live healthy. God bless you all
 (big smile from me)

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